Most days are normal, right? Days that just seem to pass by like a toy on an assembly line. Like the workers of that assembly line, doing the same thing over and over again. But then there are a few days where you are reminded that you, your life, or the world around you is important. That we are not all just a consequence of time and matter, but that we do matter and serve a purpose.

As the school days press on, I become more and more carefree. I think it has something to do with knowing what I want to do with my life. I know what I want to do, and even though that seems like a cliche statement, I know a lot of people that don't know or are unsure. I know exactly what I want to do. It might not have a specific title, but specifics are for mathematicians, and I hate math. I can slowly see myself not caring if I don't do good in this class or that class because I know that the relevance it plays in my is minute. I don't see why we need to know everything, and I have no idea why colleges have General Education requirements.

Most of the things that go on in my life now are expressed through conversation rather than writing, hence the lack of blog updates and random theories on things. I think it is because I am more comfortable sharing with other people than before. Not because of the material expressed, but because of the stupid insecurities I had. I thought what I thought was unimportant and time wasting. Even though sometimes that is the case, it is more useless to not express them than it is to express them.

Pain, Pleasure, Grief, Don't Care.

This is not an anthem of apathy. I'm at the point where I welcome change, because whatever it is that is going on right now is boring. Obviously I would prefer pleasure, but pain and grief are welcome. The goal is change. Everyday is the same thing. I want to wake up for once and look forward to what unexpected event will be thrown my way. Right now, its too predictable. School, home, gym, study, spend an hour making food, sleep. Everyday, like the rise of the sun. I'm tired of normality, tired of banality. At least when I was depressed, I had a goal. Now I'm just chasing a dream, but a dream needs reminders, like that this is the path I'm supposed to be on, some reassurance. I feel like all the time I spend is wasted, I'm not growing. More static that a dead fly, more irritated than a toothache, less direction than a circle. I need addition, whatever it be, it's more welcome than a hot meal. Those ideas in my head now given more attention, more so than the other night when all I did was sit at home. Regret it not, live it.

Perception

I have been thinking about perception lately and what it really is. This is what I have gathered so far.

To me, perception seems like more of a phenomena than anything else. For one, it is not tangible. Much like thought, we do not grab it like we do a pencil or a notebook.

Perception is unique in all of us, which is why opinion is so powerful. Opinion is so powerful that we have no definite answer for it. From perception comes opinion, a process, again, that is unique in all of us. Though we sometimes find a person with the same beliefs, ideas, and opinions as us, those beliefs, ideas, and opinions, in essence, are not the same. They are just similar.

Perception allows us to see things through logic and reason. When we weigh the difference between good and evil, we see why one is good or why one is evil. These depictions may not be correct to some, but there again is where opinion comes in. This is the reason people do not always trust perception--it is easily malleable. People's perception can change--usually slightly at first--in the time it takes to snap two fingers, though most take longer than that. The downfall is not that people change their own perception based on someone else's perception, that is good--to see different sides of an idea. The downfall is in taking someone else's perception as your own, and neglecting that which you already have. To apply a concept or idea is one thing, to replace it is another.

Because perception is malleable, it is often misleading. Perception is something that can change, even if slightly, and we often are in question with the validity of it. Because perception is misleading, in that it is not definite, we are mislead into questioning our own perception. How can one have the answer if there is no answer to be had? How can one be right if there is no way to define right in this sense? My point is, why would you let someone else define what is right when there is no right to define? There is no answer, therefore no one is right.

Thinking

It should be noted that that which is uttered by us, humans, is to be taken with a pinch of doubt, for everything we do does not work perfectly. Nor should it, since even in failure there is success, and only from failure does success exist. For everything you hear, see, and feel--doubt. There is no exact truth, for if there was, none of us would be searching for it, wondering if it exists. And by saying this, I, of course, include myself. I have no proof for why you should trust me, nor do intend on convincing you otherwise.

Through my eyes, which I recognize are not like yours, I believe that wrong and right are fairly simple to the individual, yet complex when applied to the masses. No one person has the same view point on what is right or wrong, but over the years of civilization, as a whole, we have come to agree somethings to be right, and some to be wrong. It may interest you take one thing you have done right in life, and one thing you have done wrong in life, and analyze them. At first, it is pretty obvious that the two differ, but there is an over lapping concept. If you look closer, you can probably see that both have some level of selfishness. For example, being nice may not be selfish, but if you think about it, why are you nice to people? Is it to make them feel good? Well, in turn, doesn't that make you feel good? No one is nice to someone and then pissed off because they made someone happy. So if being nice is selfish and being mean is selfish, what do we do? Think of it this way. How many nice people do you not want to be around?

Walking Helps You Think.

I was walking to my car to get food, because I don't eat the food at school, and I discovered something while walking. Have you ever noticed when you make a sharp turn it is usually unintentional? How I came to this conclusion was, I was walking down a flight of stairs, and when I got to the bottom, I started walking straight. The thing was, someone was coming up the stairs, so I had to get out of the way because this persons dumb ass decided to walk right where I was walking. This is my whole thing with walking: Walking should be done like driving a car is...ON THE RIGHT $%$@#$!^!$ SIDE. Anyway, I had to get out of the way in order to avoid catching whatever directionally changed disease this person had. I made a sharp turn to the right to avoid him. You never do that unless you NEED to, ever notice that? It also happens when you forget where you are walking, or if you are texting while walking. Next time you do this, trust me, you'll think of how smart that son of a bitch Shane is.